Published On: April 10, 2009
Today is my wife’s birthday. Her name is Elly and we’ve been married for 7 months now. Lately, we’ve been talking about getting a dog. “Think of it as a prerequisite to having children,” she says. “If we don’t kill the dog, then God says it’s okay and gives us a kid.” I was totally against it from the beginning. “Elly, we’re just not ready yet.”
So, it turns out that a friend of ours breeds Yorkie Maltese mixes (or Morkies, as they’re called by industry insiders), and his dogs just had puppies … two of them. My fatal mistake was taking Elly over to Jeff’s house (the breeder friend) to watch Rachel Getting Married (not the best) and to see the puppies. Immediately she “fell in love” and that’s when I knew … I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.
We left Jeff’s house and all she could talk about was getting one of those puppies. She even named both of them! (Max for the boy and Annie for the girl) I knew what I had to do, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I told her that there was no way we would ever get that pup, so she should just put it out of her pretty little head. Little did she know that I had already communicated with Jeff that we would like one.
All week she talked about it and all week I worked my hardest to discourage her. Finally, the day came when I could pick Max up and bring him home. Elly was working all day so it made it easy to buy everything Max needed and get it set up in the apartment.
6:30 pm finally came and I heard Elly’s car round the corner. I quickly stuck Max in the back bedroom and waited by the door with a little jewelry box in my hand. As soon as Elly walked in I sat her down on the couch and told her that I was going to give her her present early (I had to do it quickly because Max was going to start whining soon). I handed her the box and inside was a little dog collar with a little name tag that read MAX. She looked up at me and said, “Wait … what? No. Wait. Really? What? No.” I told her to wait right there with her eyes closed. I went to the back bedroom and brought out Max and laid him on her lap. It was awesome.
He’s the cutest, littlest piece of crap I’ve ever seen. He can be annoying but he’s actually quite good.
Thanks for reading.